Garden State vs. Millennialism...

Seems random, I know. But here's the thing about it all: I am not sure both can reside inside of me at once. My Millennialism tells me that I should be happy and tolerant an accepting of all things, and never have a bad/depressing day. But that is not what is going on in my mind right at the moment - in fact, currently I am questioning everything about my life: my job, my church, my friends, my location...

But at the same time, I was put on some medication that 1) didn't heal the problem it was supposed to and 2) put me in altered state of being. I was sluggish, unhappy, didn't want to get out of bed...all the common signs of depression. FInally, I decided that even if my emotions were a bit more roller-coasterish without any meds, I would rather feel than not feel at all. And apparently this is "so Garden-State of me."

So, can I hold onto my hopes and dreams about what I can do in the time God grants me on this earth, and believe in the good of others and in myself, while at the same time wrestling with deep, potentially life-changing issues that have me bordering on cynicism and hopelessness?

Not looking for an answer, just a place to get these thoughts on the table...