I found this in my journal, back from November 5...
I had just found out that my best friend, and major support system, was moving far away. And I wrote this:
"One of my foundational influences is leaving.
First it was Cam.
Then Brad.
Now Ben.
Who's next?
Sarah? Kim? Jenny?
What do you have waiting for me? What are you preparing me for?"
Well, I still don't have an answer. One thing I do know is that I certainly have learned how to handle people leaving or moving much better than I did in the past. :0)
But sometimes I wonder how long it can last. I mean, how long can someone really remain one of your dearest friends when you are not a part of the intricacies of their everday life? Sometimes, I hear one of these friends saying things to me like "well, my friends agree..." or "my friends think this or that..." And I know this person isn't trying to exclude me as a friend in their life, but that language always begs the question "so...am I not one of your friends?" I am no longer included in that grouping.
But then, how many times do I talk to Jesus and say "well, my friends all advise me that I should do X, Y or Z..."
And how many times does he think "your friends? Melinda, am I not your heavenly father who knows infinitely what is best for you?"
----------------------------------------
Oh, and for all you avid readers, go pick up a copy of NT Wright's Simply Christian. A great book, I promise you.
-M
I had just found out that my best friend, and major support system, was moving far away. And I wrote this:
"One of my foundational influences is leaving.
First it was Cam.
Then Brad.
Now Ben.
Who's next?
Sarah? Kim? Jenny?
What do you have waiting for me? What are you preparing me for?"
Well, I still don't have an answer. One thing I do know is that I certainly have learned how to handle people leaving or moving much better than I did in the past. :0)
But sometimes I wonder how long it can last. I mean, how long can someone really remain one of your dearest friends when you are not a part of the intricacies of their everday life? Sometimes, I hear one of these friends saying things to me like "well, my friends agree..." or "my friends think this or that..." And I know this person isn't trying to exclude me as a friend in their life, but that language always begs the question "so...am I not one of your friends?" I am no longer included in that grouping.
But then, how many times do I talk to Jesus and say "well, my friends all advise me that I should do X, Y or Z..."
And how many times does he think "your friends? Melinda, am I not your heavenly father who knows infinitely what is best for you?"
----------------------------------------
Oh, and for all you avid readers, go pick up a copy of NT Wright's Simply Christian. A great book, I promise you.
-M
posted by Melinda @ 5:22 PM
5 Comments:
At 10:49 AM,
anne said…
I just started reading the book this morning! :) How can we get you the money for that? Can we meet next Sunday perhaps?
Very astute thinking on the friends thing. I don't think we ever get used to friends leaving. No matter what you do, the connection is just not the same. Similar to when you 'move' far from God and then in a burst of 'spirituality' or whatever, you think you can be close to Him without putting the work of reconnecting again.
At 5:47 PM,
Melinda said…
I love the book, and am glad you're beginning it!! I saw Andy today at the Isn't She Beautiful conference, and he could pay me tomorrow (i'll be at the morning session) but it would be more fun to meet you next Sunday for it...it's been a while since I've seen you! I go to 2nd service...name the time and place and I will meet you there. :)
Good thoughts on the moving far from God thing. It's true that when we feel far from him and then a spiritual high comes in, we think we can immediately be right back where we were. But it's a journey...and just as with any relationship where we have withdrawn or wronged someone, we need to reconcile and move back towards them...
At 1:48 PM,
anne said…
I am usually in the DV area by the big tree on Sundays. I'll definitely be looking for you! :)
Sometimes I hate the idea of having to work so hard for things like this. Like shouldn't it all just be so easy and natural? But then it wouldn't be as worthwhile either, would it? Sigh. :)
At 8:42 AM,
Melinda said…
Anne,
Great! I will look for you by the DV big tree after the 11am service.
And I hear ya. These things should be so much simpler, but sometimes they just aren't. :) And yes, when we work harder for something, the reward is greater. Never ceases to amaze me, the biggest lessons can be found in the smallest of events/details. :)
I am looking forward to seeing you!
-M
At 7:00 PM,
Cameron Conant said…
Great comments, Melinda. And I love NT Wright. An Anglican, no less. I understand what you are saying in this post. I am glad that no matter what the obsticles, or arguments we might have, we are friends.
Cam
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