once again

i sit here, once again up way too late to make it through the work day tomorrow.

once again I am feeling a bit thrown off by the fact that school is almost over. it's been a part of my identity for so long, that it feels weird to think of it not being there.

once again I'm confused about certain life situations, wondering why God allows certain things to happen, grateful for his grace in showing me truth, wondering what he has in store for me next.

once again I wish things were different. that loved ones lived closer, that I could actually sleep at night (this is a new occurrence that I can't sleep, and I am missing the feeling of actually waking up in the morning, instead of just laying in bed waiting for the alarm to ring so I have an excuse to get up)

once again I'm seeing the many blessings in my life. and missing dear friends. and knowing I wouldn't be the woman I am without them in my life, and also recognizing that there are seasons and in this season they are all needed elsewhere.

When is it my turn for an elsewhere? Or because of my constnat wanderlust, is Grand Rapids the place that will always be my 'elsewhere'?

And, this is scary to admit out loud because I can't even believe I'm saying it...

i like Grand Rapids.

i could settle down here.

i actually don't feel the wanderlust like I did in high school and college.

crap, is this what they call maturity!? :)