Tired

Guess what time it is! WAY past my bedtime!! I go to bed at 10pm regularly, but last week with all the stress of work and the schoolwork that was due, I found myself up past midnight most nights. And tonight is no different: we were up north really late helping my parents on the cottage, and now I have a team paper to finish up (my final school assignment ever!). I usually end up being the ‘final touches’ person, and I love that. However, the night that it ends up turning into ‘5 hours of sleep night!’ I am not so ecstatic.

Honestly, I’m more than just sleep tired. I’m emotionally exhausted. This weekend was awesome because I can’t remember the last time I slept in until 9am, and just had good, solid, uninterrupted sleep. And working outside with my hands is always a favorite of mine: it’s so different than what I do at my job 5 days a week that it’s a welcome change. And to have your body work so hard and fall into that contented sleep at the end of the day, after good meals and great conversation…oh, that is surely a glimpse of ‘olam haba’. :)

But my mind, oh boy, is that ever tired. All I know is that I have had so much to think about lately, and it’s starting to affect me. I’m second-guessing myself, my abilities, my discernment, my character, my vulnerability. And I am just plumb tuckered out. It didn’t help that we missed church today, because right now I desperately need to rest in the Lord. And I can do that outside of church, but I love church so much and I hate missing it when we’re up north.

Both my mind and my heart are tired. So all I know, friends, is that I’m going to retreat for a little bit and find the peace my soul needs.

May God give you exactly what you need today. He is ever with you, carrying your burdens beside you.