Blogging is back! I can't believe how inspired I have been to blog lately. It's great!
Yesterday at church, some divine intervention was going on. I saw a woman I met in April at the Women's Retreat, and she is also adopted, like me. She pulls me aside and says "I've had news!" See, when I met her, she was finding her birth mom, and I shared my story with her. And now, it turns out that she never goes to the 11am service, espeically in the Studio, and yet here we both were, recognizing that God is in the details. We needed those moments to connect and share over something so big and life defining.
This past April 20 was actually the 2 year anniversary of my birth mom's passing. For those of you who don't know, I am adopted, and when I finally went to find my birthmom, she passed away from breast cancer 3 months before I sent my letter to her.
It was really, really hard. I mean, like, "can I still trust that God is good and has a perfect plan for my life" hard. I came out the other side (after many weeks of turmoil) with a stronger faith than ever, but every April 20 is still hard. Carrie left behind 3 other daughters who I think about often. My beautiful half-sisters are left without a Mom at very crucial times in their lives. They were 16, 18 and 19 when she went Home. And today I am thinking of those girls so much. I so very much wish I could be there, I wish I could be a mother figure and take care of them. All I can do is be the older sister they didn't know for 23 years, who lives many states away, speaks with a weird accent, and who is really hard to get ahold of. It sucks.
Yet I know I cannot replace their Mom, and I know I am not emotionally, spiritually or physically strong enough to be a mother figure to these 3 wonderful girls. All I can do is be the big sister, and I can pray for them. Prayer was a crucial part of my upbringing, and a big reason why I am who I am today. And I can love them. Maybe from many states away, but I can love them. And I can surrender my desire to make their lives better and always be there for them, because I can't do either. And that is a tough Isaac for me to give up - I always want to take care of those who are hurting. And believe me, they are hurting.
So to my new friend who is in the throes of meeting and connecting with her birth family, may God give you the strength to endure the emotional drain you will experience, may he give you the strength to pour out your love that they may see Jesus, and may he surround you in His love, his precious, perfect love.
Yesterday at church, some divine intervention was going on. I saw a woman I met in April at the Women's Retreat, and she is also adopted, like me. She pulls me aside and says "I've had news!" See, when I met her, she was finding her birth mom, and I shared my story with her. And now, it turns out that she never goes to the 11am service, espeically in the Studio, and yet here we both were, recognizing that God is in the details. We needed those moments to connect and share over something so big and life defining.
This past April 20 was actually the 2 year anniversary of my birth mom's passing. For those of you who don't know, I am adopted, and when I finally went to find my birthmom, she passed away from breast cancer 3 months before I sent my letter to her.
It was really, really hard. I mean, like, "can I still trust that God is good and has a perfect plan for my life" hard. I came out the other side (after many weeks of turmoil) with a stronger faith than ever, but every April 20 is still hard. Carrie left behind 3 other daughters who I think about often. My beautiful half-sisters are left without a Mom at very crucial times in their lives. They were 16, 18 and 19 when she went Home. And today I am thinking of those girls so much. I so very much wish I could be there, I wish I could be a mother figure and take care of them. All I can do is be the older sister they didn't know for 23 years, who lives many states away, speaks with a weird accent, and who is really hard to get ahold of. It sucks.
Yet I know I cannot replace their Mom, and I know I am not emotionally, spiritually or physically strong enough to be a mother figure to these 3 wonderful girls. All I can do is be the big sister, and I can pray for them. Prayer was a crucial part of my upbringing, and a big reason why I am who I am today. And I can love them. Maybe from many states away, but I can love them. And I can surrender my desire to make their lives better and always be there for them, because I can't do either. And that is a tough Isaac for me to give up - I always want to take care of those who are hurting. And believe me, they are hurting.
So to my new friend who is in the throes of meeting and connecting with her birth family, may God give you the strength to endure the emotional drain you will experience, may he give you the strength to pour out your love that they may see Jesus, and may he surround you in His love, his precious, perfect love.
posted by Melinda @ 7:35 AM
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