I Give Up

Sometimes, I think the best thing I can do is give up. When things start going wrong, when I constantly reach out to people and get no response, when I can't keep up at work and at home, when I can't please everyone...I have a couple of options. Continue to seek opportunities to reach out, keep emptying myself for no return. I can work extra hours and then also stay up later at home to get things done. I work overtime to please more and more people. Or I can go the other way - I can shut down, become bitter about these situations, and/or become sad and withdrawn.

Or, I can give up. And what means for me, is accepting my faults and my limits. I can't keep my house perfectly clean and picked up when I'm working full-time and leading Lifeline etc. But is that really the point of life? To keep everything picked up and in its place? Or is it to live life to its fullest, full of love, grace, acceptance, peace, and even a bit of a mess at home every once in a while? With the friendships I thought were there, that now the true colors are showing through, I can give up. I can give over my desire for community to God, knowing he represents true community through the 3 in 1. As for pleasing people, I can give that need up, too. I have only one person I need to please. And I can only do that by is living out my fullest potential with the gifts I've been given. They may be humble, but I can still use them.

So, I'm giving up. And giving these things over to someone much more capable of handling them than I am. And so far, it's feeling pretty good.