Why You are who You Are
It's so incredible to me what forms us and shapes us into the persons we are. As you think back, let yourself simply float away into memories and pick out the ones that jump out at you.
I remember...
-being told I was loved and valued, and that my adoption meant God had his hand watching over me and guiding me to this family
-the feeling of 'stranger in a new land' when we went to England. feeling miserable because nothing I could do or say would make them accept me. I would always be that little skin 'n bones girl from the US. I couldn't spell correctly, speak correctly, or dress right and I would always be from the land that fought it's way away from Britain.
-being teased in high school for my brains, my morals, my religion, my clothing, my music. feeling so small because once again I couldn't fit in.
-looking into the eyes of the girl at the sweat shop in Egypt
-the beauty of love
-my heart breaking when i realized love would never satisfy my need to believe in myself. love is not a substitute.
-euphoria of being on my own at college
-the fear of being on my own at college
-choosing to go back for my higher education and realizing exactly what I am made of
-choosing to let people in again. learning to trust again.
-my closest friend moving to Seattle. wondering how I would survive. realizing I survived, even thrived, much better than I could have dreamed.
-realizing validation does not come from externalities, but from God and from within.
Those are just the thoughts and memories coming to me today. And you know what those situations did for me? Because of these I am:
-open to critique and praise, accepting both equally as part of who I am.
-extremely focused on building others up. it's lonely being left out - i won't do that to others.
-going to be part of the solution instead of just complaining about the problem
-motivated to give back and pour into teen girls who are going through the most difficult years of the 0-18 formative time period.
-ready to love and to be open to my heart breaking again.
-i'm able to love myself and believe in myself and no longer position love as a substitute, but rather as a gift to be cherished.
What things shaped you into the person you are today??
I remember...
-being told I was loved and valued, and that my adoption meant God had his hand watching over me and guiding me to this family
-the feeling of 'stranger in a new land' when we went to England. feeling miserable because nothing I could do or say would make them accept me. I would always be that little skin 'n bones girl from the US. I couldn't spell correctly, speak correctly, or dress right and I would always be from the land that fought it's way away from Britain.
-being teased in high school for my brains, my morals, my religion, my clothing, my music. feeling so small because once again I couldn't fit in.
-looking into the eyes of the girl at the sweat shop in Egypt
-the beauty of love
-my heart breaking when i realized love would never satisfy my need to believe in myself. love is not a substitute.
-euphoria of being on my own at college
-the fear of being on my own at college
-choosing to go back for my higher education and realizing exactly what I am made of
-choosing to let people in again. learning to trust again.
-my closest friend moving to Seattle. wondering how I would survive. realizing I survived, even thrived, much better than I could have dreamed.
-realizing validation does not come from externalities, but from God and from within.
Those are just the thoughts and memories coming to me today. And you know what those situations did for me? Because of these I am:
-open to critique and praise, accepting both equally as part of who I am.
-extremely focused on building others up. it's lonely being left out - i won't do that to others.
-going to be part of the solution instead of just complaining about the problem
-motivated to give back and pour into teen girls who are going through the most difficult years of the 0-18 formative time period.
-ready to love and to be open to my heart breaking again.
-i'm able to love myself and believe in myself and no longer position love as a substitute, but rather as a gift to be cherished.
What things shaped you into the person you are today??
posted by Melinda @ 1:09 PM
1 Comments:
At 6:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
So true. I'm sure this past week was just a small part of that for me.
kj
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