It's about the journey, not the destination.
Let me tell you, that is hard for me. I am such a driven, energetic, accomplishment person that it is easy for me to look to the next 'destination'. But what really matters is the journey we take, not where we end up.
This really came to the forefront of my mind this weekend, as I was telling a friend about how I used to not like this one megachurch because of my perception of pride in its leadership. (Irony: by my making a judgement of this church, I was the one with the pride problem). I started hating the church leader/main pastor, and for 5 years this went on til I realized what was happening in my heart. I called the pastor and confessed and asked forgiveness...it was so tough. And this friend looked at me with this look of "really? you? I wouldn't have pictured you acting like that or hating someone like that..." And I realized, they didn't know me 3 years ago. 7 years ago. 15 years ago.
See, the past 3 years have been amazing for me. I have pushed the boundaries of progressiveness in my faith and spiritual thinking. The limits and borders I had placed around God? Torn down. False images of who God was...shattered. I woke up to the realization that I had grown up with a false, or maybe it's more accurate to say it was an incomplete, picture of what pursuing God looked like. I believed following God with reckless abandon was great, as long as it meant you ended up married, with 2.4 kids (weird...), living in a big house, with a cushy office job, earning lots of money. Following God was great, as long as it was safe. And now, while I definitely know I am called to work an office job, if God called me to sell everything and move to another place and start a company or organization, on my own, not married, no kids, etc. I would do it. And it would be just as important and amazing as working in a cube at a place I love, Z.
So, I guess basically I am just glad that I have come this far on an amazing journey, and I am following God with reckless abandon from here on out, no matter what that looks like. Through the quiet and through the storm. Through the mountain and the valley. Through the dark and through the light. I can't wait for the rest of the journey, and now that I am going to bed, the journey continues in 6.5 short hours!
Before I go...On a different note, I am wrestling tonight with weird, foreign feelings of doubt. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. He wants us to have peace, adn to have joy. So this doubt and fear I am feeling? It's not from him. Which means, it is not grounded in the truth, becasue he is the Truth. Therefore I will not give in to this fear.
Let me tell you, that is hard for me. I am such a driven, energetic, accomplishment person that it is easy for me to look to the next 'destination'. But what really matters is the journey we take, not where we end up.
This really came to the forefront of my mind this weekend, as I was telling a friend about how I used to not like this one megachurch because of my perception of pride in its leadership. (Irony: by my making a judgement of this church, I was the one with the pride problem). I started hating the church leader/main pastor, and for 5 years this went on til I realized what was happening in my heart. I called the pastor and confessed and asked forgiveness...it was so tough. And this friend looked at me with this look of "really? you? I wouldn't have pictured you acting like that or hating someone like that..." And I realized, they didn't know me 3 years ago. 7 years ago. 15 years ago.
See, the past 3 years have been amazing for me. I have pushed the boundaries of progressiveness in my faith and spiritual thinking. The limits and borders I had placed around God? Torn down. False images of who God was...shattered. I woke up to the realization that I had grown up with a false, or maybe it's more accurate to say it was an incomplete, picture of what pursuing God looked like. I believed following God with reckless abandon was great, as long as it meant you ended up married, with 2.4 kids (weird...), living in a big house, with a cushy office job, earning lots of money. Following God was great, as long as it was safe. And now, while I definitely know I am called to work an office job, if God called me to sell everything and move to another place and start a company or organization, on my own, not married, no kids, etc. I would do it. And it would be just as important and amazing as working in a cube at a place I love, Z.
So, I guess basically I am just glad that I have come this far on an amazing journey, and I am following God with reckless abandon from here on out, no matter what that looks like. Through the quiet and through the storm. Through the mountain and the valley. Through the dark and through the light. I can't wait for the rest of the journey, and now that I am going to bed, the journey continues in 6.5 short hours!
Before I go...On a different note, I am wrestling tonight with weird, foreign feelings of doubt. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. He wants us to have peace, adn to have joy. So this doubt and fear I am feeling? It's not from him. Which means, it is not grounded in the truth, becasue he is the Truth. Therefore I will not give in to this fear.
posted by Melinda @ 10:41 PM
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