Tears

I cried today. In my cubicle. But these salty tears on my face were from a mixture of emotions. Sadness at a friend going through some tough times and realizing there isnt much I can do about it. Frustration that I let some stuff at work get the best of me. Release of simply some things I had kept inside and am now letting go of. And joy of someone I care about reaching out to me.

I feel so exhausted emotionally. I've been growing so much, which is AWESOME. But it leaves me vulnerable because I'm so exhausted that I have less energy when new challenges arise, to not let the emotions come through. Today at work, I felt frustrated because I sometimes don't feel like I know my role or my place. I can live in confusion, but not for months on end. I don't think, anyways. But the point is, it got to me and it showed. People around me could tell something was wrong.

How do I find the balance of letting people in and keeping my life private? I think most people at work feel personal things should be just that, personal. But then if I don't let the people that I see every single day in to what is going on, how can they support me through it? Are they supposed to? Or be nature, should they absolutely not be a part of that?

No answers tonight. Just questions. And I'm totally ok with that.