Substance.
Something I want to have; yet something I hide.
What makes up a person, the inside, the character, the determination.
What I am scared to show, what I am scared will get rejected.
What makes a person who they really are, the grit and drive that they take life on with. The 'something' that we want others to see, the part of us that longs to be known. And yet the part that I am afraid for someone to know.
The easy way out? Don't let anyone in. Don't speak of the feelings behind something, just of the thing itself. Don't let on if you are hurt by someone, just come across as strong and independent. Don't reach out for help; rather, shun it when it's offered.
I recently met someone at work who this reminds me of. And it's weird because I see so much of my 'old' self in this person, in their behavior.
"Hit me with your light."
Yet I have chosen the hard path of forging on, of letting people in even when I know it's risk for hurt, for pain. I want to be an open person, I want to be emotionally available to others. I want to be a complete person.
"Hit me with your light."
The place I was in before was so dark, so alone, so empty. When you get hurt enough that you block people out, you find yourself in a horribly lonely place. And it is very, very dark.
"Hit me with your light!"
I don't know when I really screamed those words in a prayer, and yes I am listening to Ryan Cabrera right now...but those words from the track are exactly what I asked God to do about 3 years ago. I asked him to let me truly experience his light, and to free me from the selfish, scared cave I had put myself in. Hallelujah - he listens to our prayers!
Redemption. The role of God's people on earth: to redeem this fallen world. To let him redeem our hearts, our souls. To redeem situations, places, policies, workplaces, families, relationships...
But we can only redeem if we, ourselves, have been redeemed. If we daily die to our self and let God redeem us and mold us into the people he wants us to be. And to that i say:
"Lord, hit us with your light."
Something I want to have; yet something I hide.
What makes up a person, the inside, the character, the determination.
What I am scared to show, what I am scared will get rejected.
What makes a person who they really are, the grit and drive that they take life on with. The 'something' that we want others to see, the part of us that longs to be known. And yet the part that I am afraid for someone to know.
The easy way out? Don't let anyone in. Don't speak of the feelings behind something, just of the thing itself. Don't let on if you are hurt by someone, just come across as strong and independent. Don't reach out for help; rather, shun it when it's offered.
I recently met someone at work who this reminds me of. And it's weird because I see so much of my 'old' self in this person, in their behavior.
"Hit me with your light."
Yet I have chosen the hard path of forging on, of letting people in even when I know it's risk for hurt, for pain. I want to be an open person, I want to be emotionally available to others. I want to be a complete person.
"Hit me with your light."
The place I was in before was so dark, so alone, so empty. When you get hurt enough that you block people out, you find yourself in a horribly lonely place. And it is very, very dark.
"Hit me with your light!"
I don't know when I really screamed those words in a prayer, and yes I am listening to Ryan Cabrera right now...but those words from the track are exactly what I asked God to do about 3 years ago. I asked him to let me truly experience his light, and to free me from the selfish, scared cave I had put myself in. Hallelujah - he listens to our prayers!
Redemption. The role of God's people on earth: to redeem this fallen world. To let him redeem our hearts, our souls. To redeem situations, places, policies, workplaces, families, relationships...
But we can only redeem if we, ourselves, have been redeemed. If we daily die to our self and let God redeem us and mold us into the people he wants us to be. And to that i say:
"Lord, hit us with your light."
posted by Melinda @ 3:55 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home