Restraint.

So, today I was home from work sick. Well, still working from home, but also resting and going to the dr. etc. Got some medicine YAY!

But, I am one of those people who has 2 modes: GO GO GO or STOP. And it is hard for me to do things in moderation. Like....if I am home sick, it is hard for me to just rest. I want to still clean the house, do laundry, paint the hallway, etc. If I am working from home while sick, and I get tired, it is hard for me to rest. To restrain from pushing it too hard. But today I did.

But....and here is the real point of this blog...when is restraint a bad thing? What about when the acquaintance whose grandma died needs a hug? What about when a new friend needs defending, needs to be told something that will make their heart rest assured that they are OK just as they are? When the kid you don't know doesn't have the 5 extra dollars to purchase the CD that just might change their life?

If we restrain from that hug because we are afraid of how it will be perceived, that person loses the empathy and care that comes from such an embrace. When we are afraid to take a stand for our friend who is being teased, we miss making their heart light and at peace knowing they are loved for exactly who they are. When we hold back, and think "no, my money is my own to spend on me", we miss the joy that comes from giving away and knowing we just had a part in changing a kids' life.

I don't ever want to restrain my heart. I can get hurt that way, but I would rather stay sensitive to the call to help others by having my heart broken, than to live in restraint of love and not change lives.

"when you are sad, give your time to others, and your heart will be made glad."

Wise words, no?

This weekend, I went up to Spring Hill camp (44, not 39) to volunteer. I was excited about the opportunity to do something that for once had nothing to do with me. I wasn't receiving anything from this weekend except for the joy that comes from helping out a camp that does great things, and meeting the Junior Highers that would touch my heart in unspeakable ways. And, I was excited to get away from 'here', in a physical, emotional and spiritual sense, and go 'there' to have lots of time to let God speak to me, while I actually listened and spoke very little for once. :)

God really did speak to me, through the various volunteers, staff, the band sevenglory (www.sevenglory.com), and most especially, the youth leaders and 6th-8th graders I worked with both days.

I got to challenge & stretch myself too! The places I got to help were with the Skate Ramp, the Rocketball, the offering, moving things off and on the stage during sessions... But the biggest one for me was that I also helped out at the climbing wall, holding the ropes that were these kids' safety net. And I was awed in the way they trusted me to hold onto them and catch them should they fall. And I felt so inadequate. I was scared I would drop them. That they shouldn't trust me. And yet I would have done anything to save them if they should fall. Every time I found myself shouting "You can do it Sophie! That's it, put your left foot up on the green ledge by your knee...don't be scared, I've got you! I won't let anything happen to you! I know you can't see it, but there is a place there for your foot. Let go and climb in faith that I can see it, even if you can't." I realized that often God is shouting those same words of encouragement and faith to me, and yet I am often scared to trust him.

He has the ever-secure rope, and even though I can't always see my next step, He can. I just need to listen to him encouraging me along the climb, and placing my feet and my hands where He tells me, even when I can't see the ledges.