Oh, the randomness...

Just my thoughts on life, love, and the pursuit of Jesus.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Yes, I have alot of thoughts coming out of Catalyst last week. I could tell you all the things I did to embarrass myself - like not recognizing a certain Erwin McManus. I could tell you about all the cool people who came to the booth and were excited about TBE. I could tell you about the speakers and how they challenged us, or the worship and how beautiful it is to see that many hands in the air.

But no, I want to tell you about the catalyst it stirred in my heart, and about the people I met and how they touched my heart. First there were two authors of the book UnChristian, and how I had wanted to meet them for a while. At the encouragement of my boss, I did. And it opened the door to communicate more and learn from them in the future. They are leaders of my generation and I want to learn from them. There was also our author, Eric, who remembered that I had been the one to take chance on his manuscript and bring it to our editors with my recommendation. I've always known that, but I never knew if it was forgotten in the hustle and bustle of publishing the book. But he remembered and he thanked me, and it made my heart sing!! There was also the group of people from my church, a group that helped me at the booth and who were gracious and kind with all that I had to get done. Then there was Steve Fee - he wrote my favorite song 'Grace Will Be My Song' and I got a picture with him a minute to say hi. What a joy, and what a gift from God to meet and interact with all these people! Another joy was meeting my new friend Chris - a great guy who is so involved in things I care about, and the kind of guy who makes every single person feel important and cared about. There was also the time with my friend and colleague Ang who has moved to a new location, and I hardly get to see her anymore. What God did in our two hearts together over those two days was nothing short of beautiful and wonderful. Last but not least were the two guys working the Relevant booth. Wow. Two incredible people and guys with such big hearts and big passions for God. Not only are they hilarious and amusing, but they are sincere and they truly care about seeking after the heart of God.

I'm so blessed with all the relationships that are now forming. There are also so many others I met, just not enough room here to mention them all.

I'm thankful for all the people God brought into my life. Because more than anything, he is using them to start a catalyst in my heart. My heart is changing and growing and swelling with joy, and it took these exact people to be the catalysts God needed.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

To Grow, Must Change

At church on Sunday Jeff did a phenomenal job (as always!) communicating about the story of Jesus as found in God’s Word. It’s amazing to me, and exciting, how my heart can still feel so alive and in tune with God each and every day. I’ve been a Jesus-follower my whole life, but over the past 7 years my passion has been re-awakened and it is truly a blessing and truly incomprehensible what my heart feels.

Anyways, Jeff was talking about how in order to follow Jesus the disciples had to leave something behind. “You can’t follow without leaving.” And I kept asking myself ‘what is it I need to leave in order to follow Jesus?’ It changes daily – I always have to leave my selfish desires behind, even though I mess that up all the time. :) But sometimes it’s specific things – like leaving security & safety, comfort, pride, friendships, energy, selfishness, etc. Right now I’m wrestling with a decision, and the reason I think I’m wrestling so much is that if I choose A, then I have to give up B. And if I choose B, I have to give up A. I don’t want to give up either of them, but in order to follow Jesus’ leading, I must give something up.

And wrestling through this is growing me and stretching me. “You can’t grow and remain the same.” There is always a change that happens in us as we grow. Yesterday I went down to Reeds Lake by myself to read and journal and pray, and I realized that I’ve ended one stage of my life and am beginning a new phase on this journey. It felt so peaceful to acknowledge that and to prepare my heart for what God has in store for me.

So, what things are growing you? Are you willing to change what you need to in order to experience growth? What is Jesus asking you to leave behind to follow him?