Oh, the randomness...

Just my thoughts on life, love, and the pursuit of Jesus.

Monday, October 30, 2006


It's so close I can taste it. In fact, a slice of Nashville is coming here on Wednesday. So that is making me even more excited!!!

And truth is, I get to meet alot of Cam's friends. People I have heard about for months: Drew, Caroline, Rory, Adria (sp?), the list goes on. These are people who have taken my friend in his new home and welcomed him with more love and grace than many can give. They have made his life so much more whole and complete. When he left us in GR, he was starting over. Breaking free from a past that included alot of hurt. And now, to hear him talk about these friends and how rich his life is because of them...well, I sleep better at night knowing my friend is taken care of.

It's amazing how much friends shape a life. I mean, without friends, our lives are pretty empty. Bad friends make our lives miserable. But a good friend...ah, a good friend is like a fine wine. The meal placed before us is still good without the wine, but with the wine, the meal is taken to a whole new level of enjoyment. And this life, well, this life God has given us in this beautiful world is such a precious gift. But the friends he has given us, the ones who challenge us, inspire us, stretch us, support us, encourage us, keep us humble, love us, carry us, sit with us in silence...these friends are the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. Because in them, I see Jesus.

"Thank you, Lord, for our friends. Help me to give them even a portion of what they have given me. Amen."

Saturday, October 28, 2006


That is what I need, and what I am doing. Before I head to Nashville (recently named "land of the Devil") :0) this next weekend and hopefully refresh my spirit with old friends, I am going into a land of retreat.

So, my friends, I apologize. I know many of you have not heard from me in weeks. And by God's grace, you are still my friends. The practice of living has taken over life itself. It is sad, I know.

And as I head into one of the biggest challenges life has ever thrown at me, trying to prepare for a leaving, an arrival, a step up, a blow that knocks me down, and God supporting me in the midst of it all....I am turning inside. Unfortunately, I will not be available to you all for the next couple of weeks. I need to figure some things out.

See, I am bad at asking for help. It's one of my character flaws I guess...and so while I desperately need your help right now, something keeps me from asking for it. Pride? Fear? Distrust?

Please forgive me my shortcomings.

Have a blessed week next week, and remember to keep your eyes open to that life doesn't pass you by.


Thursday, October 12, 2006


My life is boring. Seriously, outside of school and work, I've got nothing to write about. That is because I have no life!

I am going up north this weekend for a surprise birthday party for my dad - that should be cool! Except that I was looking forward to the beautiful trees of fall, and now we've got snow. Not that snow isn't gorgeous, but I love fall and I haven't had enough. Good thing I am heading down to Nashville for a vacation!

Last night was my final business ethics class. This is the class taught by james frey's dad. If you don't get the irony, does it help me to refresh your minds that James Frey wrote the book A Million Little Pieces? If you still don't get the irony of his dad teaching ethics...I don't know how to help you.

anyways, it has been one of the best classes I have taken during this MBA journey. I have been so challenged in the way i view marketing campaigns, people, decisions, and products. I also have been revived in my quest for knowledge. See, I am approaching the end of school, and I have to admit, as stressful as it is, I love it. I will miss my classmates, the bonds we form, the knowledge I learn, the discipline to push myself.

But what I am looking forward to when it is done? More $$ in the bank account not going to ridiculously expensive text books. More time with friends. A normal schedule. LOST. The Apprentice. More time to read ‘fun’ books. And most importantly, Lifeline. I cannot wait to join Lifeline at my church and lead some high school girls through that tumultuous and pivotal time of life. Oh, and becoming an adjunct professor at Calvin still appeals to me too…

Well, that’s it folks. Nothing exciting in my world, just lots to look forward to!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

So, last week at Catalyst really got me thinking. Am I doing what God has called me to do? Am I using my gifts in the best ways to bring the kingdom here to earth? (Thanks Rob Bell...I will never think of the kingdom of heaven the same again!) Am I matching my skills and talents with my passions? Or, am I doing something I am good at, just because I am good at it?

I had an interesting trip - my spirit was alive, but the rest of me was flailing, trying to figure out how to survive each day with what I was provided and matching that with what I needed to be able to give. The speakers I heard revived my passion and zeal where it was lacking, and I was moved by many of them.

On a blog today that was defending the TNIV in such a great way, I read through this guy's backlog of blogs, and saw this in a post:
"No. There is nothing safe about being a Christian. Aslan is not a tame lion. And what He asks of Lucy is not what He asks of Edmund."

I've written before about God not being a safe God. But the second part of that comment...not asking the same of each person...that can be hard for me to take. When I was struggling last week with some things, I called a friend from GR, and we talked about it. And he reminded me that many people would not react the way I do to these situations - they would run and hide and hurt. I face the pain head-on, though it is not easy. And this reminded me that God does indeed give each person a different cross to bear, if you will. While that can be hard to swallow sometimes, it doesn't change how much he loves each of us, but it does remind us that our Creator knows us intimately better than anyone else, even ourselves, and only he knows what we can bear.

And to end this pensive post, here is my fun news for the week:
my brotally shirt is in the mail to me today. i cannot wait!!!!


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Confessions of a Type A

running, in circles...

trying to achieve

ACHIEVE - that is what we do. That is what gives us worth, to the world.

(my heart struggles, beats, nearly bursts trying to escape that ideal)

I am tired

I think too much

I work too much

I focus on I too much

God loves me still.

I can learn to relax, to re-charge, to re-fresh, and to re-new

God will see me through.


Today was a frustrating day at work.

I don't like it when I cannot resolve things, even when I didn't cause the problem in the first place.

I leave tomorrow for Atlanta. Am I excited?


Sunday, October 01, 2006

My heart is so full, it might burst.

I feel a little bit refreshed, I took the day to do some things that just needed to get done. Things that were avoided for too long...paying the bills, picking up my room, a load of laundry, finishing a John Grisham novel, sleeping in til 10... It was heavenly.

And now tomorrow I get to have friends over and prepare an amazing lunch for them. I am so excited! Yes it means getting up butt early, but I like that. Discipline is a good thing. And for the joy of inviting people into this house I have turned into a warm, welcoming home...priceless.

Before I read my new Today's Devotional Bible and then turn in for 6 hours of rest, I wanted to post some Jann Arden lyrics that I have always loved. This song reminds me that I have so much, even when I feel like I have little. Content - a great place to be. I believe that being in a state of happiness actually happens every moment that I am content. Happiness doesn't need to be over-the-top elation, but rather the calm, simple feeling that we are content with what we have, where we're at, and where God is leading us.

"I've got money in my pocket, I like the color of my hair.I've got a friend who loves me, Got a house, I've got a car. I've got a good mother, and her voice is what keeps me here. Feet on ground, Heart in hand, Facing forward, Be yourself. "